The Wedding
by eMu3
Summary: Lily announces her engagement. Friends who were bullied by the groom as less than enthusiastic. chap 2 up, buying a dress
1. Default Chapter

Title: The Wedding  
  
Author: eMu  
  
Summary: Lily and James' wedding, and the events leading up to it.  
  
Disclaimers: Usual  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Author's Notes: Chock full of original characters. Set in my own little fanon universe (for details see my other fics and my bio page). And yes, I believe in slash. Supposedly one in ten of us humans is gay (one in ten is not enough, recruit, recruit, recruit!) and there are more than ten characters I work with! ^_^  
  
Cleo Estrelle scowled at the bottle of tequila in front of her. Making her the Maid of Honour did NOT make up for this insult in any shape, way or form. She had shouted that at Lily Evans as she had left their flat. And if that stupid little bitch made someone else the Maid of Honour, then heads would roll.  
  
How? How had it happened? Sure, she had warmed up to that jocky arsehole Jeremy Potter during their seventh year, but then they'd all graduated and she'd moved in with Cleo and they'd all moved on with their lives. Cleo had thought they'd lost touch with their less loved year mates. She certainly hadn't seen the undesirables (a term for anyone who wasn't in the Misery Cult or Lorn Mystique, the few she would allot the term 'friend' to). But apparently Lily had been seeing James on the side and hadn't told her. She couldn't imagine why. She would have knocked some sense into the daft cow. Told her that dating that jerk was horrible for her and really, she should focus on her career. And forget about that love bullshit anyway, because that's just a trick of biology to get her to reproduce.  
  
Why didn't people ever listen to her? Cleo wondered.   
  
She could just picture Jeremy, the very same Jeremy who'd picked on the majority of her friends throughout their school years with that moron Black. He was probably finding a great deal of satisfaction in marrying Cleo's best friend. She snarled, acting more doglike than her usual feline attributes usually permitted.  
  
Severus Snape had just approached her table at the Three Broomsticks, and took a step back warily. A drunk Cleo was not a happy Cleo.  
  
"Well sit down!" Cleo snapped. Obediently, Severus sat across from her, eyes wide and a little fearful.  
  
"Yes?" He asked apprehensively.  
  
"Yes what?" She slurred angrily.  
  
"You did…ask me to meet you here." Her reminded her gently. She hissed at him, then stopped, mid hiss.  
  
"Yes. Yes I did. Cuz I needed to bitch to someone in their right mind. An' yer always in yer right mind." Cleo explained, before pouring herself another shot. Severus put his hand over hers as she reached for the shot glass.  
  
"I don't think that's a very good idea."  
  
"Get yer fucking hand off of me if you don't want to lose it." She growled. Severus immediately obliged, whilst wondering if he could possibly leave the place quietly without being stalked by a drunken psychopath.  
  
Cleo downed the shot and then continued with the conversation as though it had never halted. "Jeremy proposed to Lily."  
  
"What? I didn't know they were still talking." Severus said, genuinely surprised.  
  
"Oh apparently they are. She's been seeing the arse since we left school, she jes never told us. Think Misery knew though." Cleo said, referencing their Potions teacher, Diane Arey (thus Ms. Arey=Misery). She'd been such good friends with a group of her students that they were all still in communication with each other.  
  
"So…did she say yes?" Severus asked.  
  
"Course she did. I'm the bloody Maid of Honour!" Cleo exclaimed. "D'ya think it's a bad omen if the Maid of Honour hexes the groom during the ceremony?"  
  
"Probably. We'll leave it to the Maid of Honour's companion." Severus answered, eyes narrowed. His friendship with Lily had been on thin ice for a long time now, mostly due to James' presence. He could feel the ice cracking. "I want to kill him."  
  
Severus wasn't aware of voicing that thought until he caught Cleo nodding. "Arrogant arse."  
  
"Pampered jock."  
  
"Fucking git."  
  
The two continued insulting James for several minutes before Severus thought of something else. "Wait, she's going to end up moving in with him after they're married."  
  
"Yep. That's generally what happens Sevvy." Cleo said stupidly. He let out an annoyed breath.  
  
"Think Cleo dear. You're her flatmate. You can't afford the place without her. She will not continue living with you. I know you're inebriated, but you should still understand the significance of this."  
  
Cleo thought for a minute, and then it dawned on her. "I'm gonna be out on my arse!" She exclaimed, loudly enough that a few other patrons turned to stare at her. Whereas this wouldn't have concerned Cleo in the least, even if she was sober, attention of any sort had a tendency to make Severus uncomfortable.  
  
"Keep it down. I think you've had plenty to drink. You should head home." Severus advised.  
  
"Right. Er…I'll just app'rate an tell Lily to leave cuz I'm not speaking to her." Cleo slurred.  
  
"You're not apparating in this state, and don't you think Lily might want a Maid of Honour that will speak with her and give her advice?" Severus asked.  
  
"If she makes someone else the Maid of Honour I'll kill 'em all!" Cleo shouted, jumping to her feet. "An don't you dare tell me what I will and will not do!"  
  
The people around them were muttering and pointing. Severus grabbed her arm and pulled her from the place, muttering darkly.   
  
"If you try to apparate you'll just splinch yourself and I'm not in the mood to go looking for the pieces. However, I do think some distance from Lily is a good idea. You can stay at my place if you want."  
  
Cleo pulled away from him indignantly and took a few unsteady steps forward. Then she toppled over and Severus caught her. "I choose to accept you invitation sir!"   
  
Next Morning  
  
Cleo woke up with a pounding headache and with a good deal of morning amnesia. Granted, the term morning amnesia wasn't entirely accurate as it was closer to noon and the tequila had blocked out most of the previous day. She attempted to think about what had happened, but that caused more pain.  
  
Then she realized she was not in her bed. She looked around and managed to make out that she was in Severus' bed. She was also clad in a large black shirt of his, her panties and nothing else. She was about to mentally slap herself, but she then remembered that Severus was enough of a gentleman not to sleep with a woman who was drunk off her arse. He was probably being courteous by letting her have the bed.  
  
Blurred remembrance of Lily's announcement and her time at the Three Broomsticks came back and she groaned. She felt jealous and betrayed and the tequila had not made it go away. She put her hands over his eyes and made a series of annoyed noises. 'Least I chose to meet with Sev and not Tony. I'd be pregnant with an illegitimate child and disowned by my mother by now'. She thought.   
  
She sat up and noticed a mug of tea and a note sitting for her on the night table.  
  
I had to leave early and I thought it best for my health not to wake you. If this isn't the worst hangover of your life it's got to be in the top five. I've never seen you lose yourself like that. Idiot. I put some things in the tea to help your hangover. Please don't do anything that stupid in the future, it's an inconvenience. Not to mention unsafe for me. I'll be home around three if you want to talk.  
  
~Severus  
  
She smiled. Many people missed the subtle undertones Severus sent out, the ways he communicated his emotions. It was a language Cleo understood very well, because she did the same thing. If a normal person had written it, the note would have read:  
  
I noticed you were distraught and I thought sleep would help you, so I left without waking you. I feel much sympathy for the pain you must be feeling now (physical and emotional) as I've never seen you act like that before. Be careful in the future. I made this tea to make you feel better. Take care of yourself in the future so I don't have to worry about you. I can tell you are very upset and keeping it inside is unhealthy.  
  
~Severus  
  
Cleo downed the tea, which was actually pretty good, and as soon as she was feeling human again ventured into the sitting room. She walked over to one of the massive bookcases and selected an interesting looking piece of literature before planting herself on the couch to await Severus' return.  
  
She loved spending time in Severus' flat, it was as suited to her tastes as it was his. He had made the wise decision to live alone, and thusly, did not have a flatmate to argue with about things such as 'it's too dark, we need some colour in this room', or, 'some heat wouldn't kill you'. It was always cold enough to curl up in a comforter in, there were no bright, jarring colours to distract her and it was utterly terrifying to the potentially annoying neighbourly houseguest. People who stopped by Severus' flat to welcome him to the neighbourhood had never returned.  
  
She managed to get herself engrossed thoroughly in the book she had randomly selected, Brave New World. She made no notice of Severus when he entered the flat, looking somewhat frazzled and exhausted.  
  
"Still here?" He asked.   
  
"Mmph." She responded.  
  
"Sit up." He snapped. She stretched her legs out over the cushions. "Don't make me sit on you."  
  
"You won't." Cleo answered confidently.  
  
"Damn you woman."  
  
She stuck her tongue out at him. Reluctantly, she put the book down. "How was your day?"  
  
"Horrible. People…talking…"  
  
"Sounds like a nightmare." Cleo said sympathetically. She curled her legs up and offered him a cushion. He practically collapsed onto the couch, rubbing his temples.  
  
"Sometimes I feel a burning white hatred for the whole of humanity." Severus muttered.  
  
"Other times it's just a dull white hatred." Cleo finished. She offered him a smile. "Cheer up. Could be worse. Your best friend could be marrying the bully who made your school life a living hell."  
  
"Instead it's just a close friend." Severus answered. He sighed. "You realize if we want to remain friends with Lily we're going to have to accept it."  
  
"I will never accept it." Cleo pouted.  
  
"Calm down Cleo. I found a very optimistic figure today. Did you know one in four marriages end in divorce?"  
  
"Oh Severus, you just made my day!" Cleo squealed, surprising the hell out of him by rushing forward and hugging him.  
  
"Please let go of me."  
  
She laughed. "Did I scare you with all of that human contact?" She asked, batting her lashes.  
  
"No, but you're scaring me now. Never do that again." He ordered. Obediently, she sat back and hugged her knees. "When are you leaving?"  
  
"Dunno. I suppose I should check in with Lily. You don't have a phone, do you?" She asked.  
  
"A what?"   
  
"Never mind. Can I use your fireplace?"  
  
Meanwhile…  
  
"I can't fucking believe her!" Lily screamed. "It's like I have to ask her permission before I can marry someone! I need her fucking approval! How selfish of me!! Wanting to marry the man I love!"  
  
"L-Lily…" James said carefully.  
  
"And taking off like that?! Out all bloody night, scared the shit out of me!! She still hasn't called! She could've gotten date raped and butchered or something!" Lily fumed.  
  
"And you sound so worried." James muttered.  
  
"Don't you dare patronize me Potter!" Lily seethed. She rounded on him, full fury in her eyes, and held out her ring finger threateningly. "I can still give this back!" She snarled, referring to the very lovely engagement ring on said finger. James nodded obediently. He'd been whipped by her before he understood what that meant, and well before she cared whether he lived or died. It had made for a very interesting courtship.   
  
"Er…any thoughts about where she might have gone?" James asked helpfully.  
  
"Misery, Max, Lolita, Nis, Ami, Avaah, Edward, Tony, Moses and Severus are the only people she talks to anymore, excepting me. She wouldn't stay at Lolita's or Max's, because they'd be happy about my engagement, or Misery's come to that. She wouldn't stay at Nis' because his place is kinda creepy. She didn't stay at Moses' because otherwise his messy death would be on the morning news. She wouldn't stay at Tony's or Edward's because she would want to get drunk and they'd pull something. So that leaves Ami and Severus."  
  
"And Snape shares similar sentiments to hers, no doubt." James muttered darkly.  
  
"I am going over there telling her exactly what I've been raving at you for the last three hours!" Lily yelled.  
  
"Or…!" James shouted, grabbing her by the arm. She snarled at him and he silently prayed he wasn't just sealing his own death. "Or you could let her stay in what is no doubt a safe environment for her to get her troubles out, the two of you can calm down and we can celebrate our engagement the way normal couples do?" He asked hopefully.  
  
Her eyes were still narrowed at him, and at that moment he knew true fear. He knew he was going to die.  
  
Then, as Lily was prone to do, her mood changed entirely, and she clung to him desperately, sobbing into his shoulder. Still not entirely used to his somewhat bipolar fiancée's mood swings, James patted her back awkwardly, actually hoping she was just on her period or something.  
  
"James why can't I have normal friends who are happy for me?!" She sobbed. "Why can't Cleo be happy for me?! She's my best friend, I wanted to, I wanted to laugh with her a-and get excited! I made her my Maid of Honour, I want to pick out my dress with her and do normal girly things!"   
  
"I'm sorry love. I'd fix it if I could." James said honestly, hoping that might calm Lily down. The sobbing state was hardly better than the raging inferno.  
  
"It's your fucking fault jock boy!" Lily screamed, pulling away from him. She was now back to raging inferno. "You're the one who got the whole school to refer to her as Satan instead of Cleo! You're the one who got everyone believing she eats babies! You're the one who pantsed her friend in front of half the school! And your friend is the one who almost bloody killed him!" Lily roared.  
  
James' eyes widened. He always knew his days of taunting Satan and Snivellus would bite him in the arse as far as his relationship with Lily was concerned. He just didn't realize how often it would bite him in the arse.  
  
"You're blaming me for what Sirius did too now?" He found himself exclaiming in disbelief. 'Bad thing to say Potter, grovel! Grovel dammit!' "That's hardly fair!" 'Nooo… why are you so stupid?' 'Shut up inner voice of reason!'  
  
"Fair? You want fair? How fair is it that you can't spend what should logically be the best girly friend thing to do with your best friend because the man you love humiliated her during her adolescence and reinforced her stance that people are to be avoided and shutting herself off from society is best?!" Lily screeched.  
  
"Er…" James stuttered stupidly. 'You're right, tell her she's right you idiot!' "Does Snivellus have to come to the wedding?" 'You deserve whatever you get thrown at you.'  
  
"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGH!!!" Lily screamed, before throwing a vase at James' head.  
  
A few minutes later James was laying on the floor, feeling rather groggy. There were white spots in his vision, but when it cleared he saw Lily standing over him looking worried.  
  
"I'm sorry James. I just lost it right there. Um…are you okay?" Lily asked in a very timid voice, especially compared to her voice earlier.  
  
"Yeah. Just a bit dizzy. I'm fine." James answered, sitting up.   
  
"I understand if you don't want to marry me because I'm an insane psychotic bitch." Lily whimpered.  
  
"Lily…I've been all but stalking you since I was thirteen. Do you honestly think having a vase thrown at my head will make me back out at this stage? You've already done worse to me you know." James answered. What was meant to be a comforting statement was taken all wrong by Lily, who immediately started sobbing.  
  
"I'm a horrible person! I abuse you!" She wailed.  
  
"No! No-no-no-no-no!" James stammered, waving his hands. "I didn't mean it like that! I meant I love you! And I always want you near me, through it all! Vases and happy, shiny wonderful things!"   
  
"Really?" Lily asked in a small voice. He wrapped her in a warm embrace.   
  
"Really. Throwing vases is nothing. Lily, the worst thing you could ever do to me would be to tell me you never want to see me again. I gave you that ring because I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you." James said sincerely. 'See what happens when you listen to me?' 'Quiet you!'  
  
Lily smiled warmly, the first genuine smile she'd made since she'd realized she'd said yes. Truth be told, she hadn't thought marrying this young, especially someone her friends hated, was a good idea at all. She hadn't answered with her brain at all, and had been walking on eggshells since then. After all, it would have been the bitchiest thing in the world to say "No, I lied. Let me just rip your heart out for you and step on it for a sec here, I really meant to say no."   
  
But hearing those words and feeling his arms around her made Lily believe in them, the idea of them. Made her believe that her friends could accept her choice. And that it was her choice, the geeky Muggle born actually had, of her own volition and desire, chosen to marry the somewhat arrogant jock. It hadn't been a tug from the social chain, because they'd graduated Hogwarts two years ago and honestly, it didn't really matter that he'd been Quidditch captain and she'd been a theatre geek. All that mattered was that this was real.  
  
James stroked her hair, still feeling the same rush of excitement and disbelief that the girl he'd pined for actually was there, in front of him, smiling at him and wanting to be near him. He felt the silky crimson strands between his fingers, marvelling at their feel.   
  
Lily closed her eyes and exhaled contentedly. Everything would work out. It had to. This just felt too good.  
  
And the very warm and gooey moment was ruined by a head popping into the fireplace shouting: "Oy! Break it up you two! You're making me absolutely nauseous, how can you stand to have his arms around you?"  
  
James scowled and Lily sniggered. They disentangled themselves from each other and Lily offered a wide smile to the head in her fireplace. "And just where have you been, Ms. Estrelle?"  
  
"Sev's. Knocked back some tequila. Had a few years scared off my life when I realized my idiot flatmate chained herself to a berk in dorky specs. How've you been?" Cleo answered.   
  
"Better. I haven't decided to cancel the wedding, if that's what you're wondering." Lily answered, acid in her tone.  
  
"Not at all. I've calmed down, and I've decided to support your union." Cleo answered.  
  
"Really?" James asked, completely surprised. Lily turned to him with a 'See? My friends aren't all crazy, they can be decent' smile.  
  
"After all, young marriages rushed into without any thought end in bitter divorces so often, it's bound to happen to you two." Cleo continued. Lily's smug look fell and James sniggered.  
  
"Well. Thank you for your support Cleo. You can still be Maid of Honour then." Lily said.  
  
"Of course I'm still Maid of Honour. Like I told you, if you made anyone else Maid of Honour, I'd be forced to rip their jugulars out." Cleo snapped.  
  
"Er…Lily? We should really talk about the Maid of Honour-Best Man thing." James muttered, realizing just how explosive and overall horrible the combination they'd chosen was.  
  
Cleo seemed to get it too, as her face fell. "I'm gonna be paired up with Black, aren't I?"  
  
Severus' voice drifted in from the background. "I'm not going."  
  
"No one invited you!" James yelled.  
  
"I did!" Lily yelled right back.  
  
"Well it doesn't matter because he said he's not going." James put in.  
  
"Oh no! If I have to go and walk down that friggin' aisle with Sirius Black at my side, then he is going!" Cleo yelled.  
  
"You can't make me!"   
  
"Edward and Tony know Imperius!" Cleo shouted.  
  
"If only we had more than one mutual friend." James muttered.  
  
"If only you hadn't ridiculed all of my friends except one." Lily corrected.  
  
"You know that was years ago-"  
  
"Two years Potter!" Cleo snapped.  
  
"Two entire years! Point is, I'm different now, you're different now, they're…still kinda fucked up, let's put it behind us!" James pleaded to Lily.  
  
"Fucking jock!" Cleo snarled. "Lily, you chose to marry a fucking jock!"  
  
"I'm aware of that Cleo, thank you!" Lily snapped.  
  
"Shut up Severus, we are not going in circles." Cleo yelled to the other side of the fireplace. She let out an annoyed breath. "As I'm wasting borrowed floo going 'round in circles on the same old 'not-gonna-be-solved' issues, I'm going to leave now and get my arse back over to our flat. Potter had better be gone when I get there or oh the welcome you shall receive. Bai." Cleo said darkly before her head disappeared.  
  
Lily stared at the fireplace, looking livid, and James knew all of his efforts in calming her down were now meaningless.  
  
"Guess I should leave then." He muttered.  
  
"Sit yourself down on that couch, you're staying." Lily snapped.  
  
"Yes'm." James answered quickly, rushing over to the couch.   
  
"I cannot believe her-"  
  
"Honestly, I'm not that surprised." James put in, hoping to cut off another 'can't believe she's doing this' rant. "Listen, I really don't think it'll prove anything to her by having me here. You two need to discuss. Please let me leave." He asked in a really small voice.  
  
Lily spun around on her heel. "And let her win?"  
  
"This is an interesting friendship the two of you have. I don't think I've ever fought with any of my friends so hard to be right over something. And we've never held any of our significant others hostage to show dominance." James noted.  
  
"You don't share a flat with any of your friends and only one of your friends has a monthly cycle to worry about. Just so you know, and Cleo will swear on this, menstruation really is worse than were-transformations." Lily said, whilst James cringed.  
  
"D'ya have to use the m word?" He whined.  
  
"Yes. Yes I do. Anyway, your point has been made. I've never seen the Marauders take non-prank war related hostages so you're free to go."   
  
The words were hardly out of her mouth before James was up and running.  
  
***********************************  
  
Rather than apparating, which was now within Cleo's abilities as she was sober, Cleo chose to walk home to give her a few more minutes to think. Despite appearances, Cleo was completely capable of behaving rationally. It was just usually out of her reach as the moon wreaked havoc with her emotions. For starters, she was a female prone to volatile behavior during her periods. Secondly, she was the only documented case of a werecat and the moon cycle combined with PMS could and did make her a bitch.  
  
She really did hate James, and would have preferred just about any person she'd ever met to be Lily's husband than him. However, as she was not Lily, it was not her choice to make. She was in the wrong, had behaved like a total prat, and was now in the position to apologize, which did nothing to make her feel better.  
  
'On the plus side, Lily won't hold anything over my head', Cleo thought to herself. She clung so much to her friendship with Lily because she's never known anything like it. Lily never judged her, even though she made some horrible choices. She never gave the 'I told you so' dance, even though Cleo performed it as often as possible. She always provided a listening ear for her friends.  
  
With that in mind, Cleo entered their flat.  
  
**************************************************  
  
"They made up…right?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I have no clue. I just ran!" James answered, looking somewhat panicked. "I did not plan for any of this…why can't she have sane friends? Now I have to worry about walking alone down dark alleys at night…her friends are gonna bump me off first chance they get."  
  
"Realistically you only have to worry about a few of them. I thought they were starting to warm up to you." Remus pointed out.  
  
"Right…it's just Cleo, Snivellus, Paglia and Lecinq I have to worry about. The most dangerous and the least sane of the lot." James responded.  
  
After fleeing Lily's flat, James had gone to Sirius and Remus' place to seek comfort. The three were now gathered around a box of pizza to discuss the upcoming wedding, and how to keep James alive until then.  
  
"Lolita doesn't hate you…but then she never really hated you to begin with and I don't think any of the others really listen to her anyway." Sirius said.   
  
"And Max doesn't hate you because it's not possible for her to hate anyone. Least as far as I've seen." Remus added.  
  
"I guess I should have held off on asking her until I'd warmed myself up to her friends a little bit." James muttered.  
  
"That would have been a good plan. Why was there such a rush, anyway?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Things were going good and I wanted to bind her to me before she came to her senses and ran screaming. Oh god, she could be coming to her senses now!" James jumped to his feet, ready to dash back to Lily's, but Sirius and Remus each grabbed an arm and hauled him back down.  
  
"She said yes, but charging back into a volatile situation when she's trying to make up with her friend will not make things better for you." Sirius explained.  
  
"I know that." James said stupidly.   
  
"Good." There was a pause. Sirius opened his mouth to speak a few times, then stopped. Remus rolled his eyes.  
  
"Just ask him you idiot."   
  
"Can I be the best man?" Sirius asked, in the manner of a six year old.  
  
"Well…if you want to…" James said slowly.  
  
"Of course I want to!" Sirius exclaimed.  
  
"You realize who the Maid of Honour is, yes?" James asked.  
  
"I…shit."  
  
TBCreally, really, really let me know if you like this one or not, cuz I'm not sure if I'm gonna finish it. That means your reviews actually count…I guess. I dunno. I think it's cute but the response so far has not been overwhelming. Pleasant something people! ^_^ 


	2. the dress! dum dum dum

Chapter 2 the dress  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks to the three lovely reviews I received about chapter one and some encouragement from friends (and the fact that I basically like the way this one is going) I've decided to continue with the fic. Plus, it's plot important anyway so it wouldn't hurt. I hope my original characters continue to be well received (I dread seeing a Mary-Sue complaint, shudder, shudder) and their insanity will be further explored in this chapter.   
  
"Lily, you've set an impossible goal honey." Avaah said sadly, gazing with distaste at the Muggle magazines in front of her.  
  
Lily let out a frustrated sigh and buried her head in her hands. "I know. But dammit he's not going to win."  
  
Lily was gathered in the living room of her and Cleo's flat with their girlfriends: Avaah, Max, Lolita and Alice. Ami and Misery would have joined them as well, of course, but they were off researching something for Dumbledore, something they were not at liberty to divulge, which had become a sad constant.  
  
Cleo came in then from the shop, and dumped about a dozen more magazines into the centre of the group. Lily wrinkled her nose in distaste. No matter how many different magazines they bough, all of them featured the same cover: A potentially pretty girl with a horrible perm and circus clown makeup wearing a wedding dress with a sequined bodice and exploding with horrible lace and poofy sleeves.  
  
It was not possible to buy a decent wedding dress in 1986.  
  
"I'm so glad these Muggle fads haven't invaded the Wizarding world." Lolita said quietly, looking at a bride that closely resembled Bozo the clown.  
  
"Well it wouldn't be so bad if Lily would just bite the bullet and go to a Wizarding store. But no, ever the Muggle born and must show it off." Cleo teased, knowing full well that if Lily attempted to admit defeat and go to a Wizarding shop, it was her duty as Maid of Honour to stop her.  
  
James and Lily had made a little bet.  
  
A few days earlier Lily had been casually looking at dresses for herself and her bridesmaids. James and Sirius had been over, and, using his prodigious ability to unconsciously push buttons, Sirius insulted not only the dresses, but Muggle fashion at large.  
  
This was pretty rich coming from a pureblood who had denounced his heritage, owned a closet full of jeans and t-shirts, owned a motorbike and who had a boyfriend who refused to wear robes on several occasions as he thought they looked like a dress. Lily had told him so.  
  
The argument had escalated until a bet was made. If Lily found a Muggle dress she liked then James would wear a tiki shirt to the altar. If Lily had to go to a Wizarding store, then in addition to Lily's bruised ego, James would have veto powers over any and all names of future offspring.  
  
Cleo found the last conditions of the bet suspicious, but Lily wouldn't elaborate.  
  
"I've got an idea!" Lolita squeaked. The girls patiently waited for her to explain, but nothing came. Then Lolita disapparated.  
  
Used to unannounced disappearances, the girls continued desperately flicking through magazines to no avail. The dresses were all hideous.  
  
"Maybe if you just looked for any dress, and it wouldn't even need to be a wedding dress. Like if you just bought a white one or something." Max suggested.  
  
"We'll save that as a last resort. I don't want to give the boys a reason to bitch about fairness unless absolutely necessary." Lily answered.  
  
"Madam Malkin made me a lovely dress for my wedding." Alice pointed out. Her eye had been caught by a particularly horrid neon green bridesmaid dress.  
  
"I am not giving in." Lily said in a low, frightening voice. Alice didn't fully grasp the situation; she had a sane relationship with her sane husband Frank.  
  
Alice was actually a new addition to Lily's circle of friends. Lily had followed her idiot fiance and his idiot friends into the Order of the Phoenix. She would have liked to say it had been her idea to join, but the boys had beat her to it. Damned Auror connections. Alice and Frank also being members of the Order, Lily had gotten to know them better. They'd been Gryffindors together back at school, but Alice was a year older (not to mention reasonable and modest) and they'd hadn't really bonded until recently. Though polite, Alice hadn't taken to the Misery girls very well.  
  
Lolita surprised them all about twenty minutes later by apparating back in, right on Max's lap. "Oops, sorry Max."  
  
"Oh it's fine. You just crushed my spleen a little, nothing severe." Max said dismissively.  
  
Lolita plunked another large stack of magazines onto the floor. "I apparated to Dublin, Glasgow and Paris. I was even thinking of going to Germany, but there was no point. All the dresses were the same."  
  
Lily dispiritedly regarded the magazines. "This poofy lace thing is the stupidest trend I've ever seen."  
  
"Maybe you should just call off the whole stupid wedding." Cleo said brightly. "Getting married's overrated anyway."  
  
Lily smiled falsely at Cleo, then continued to flick through the magazines.  
  
"Lily, I think this is a challenge we actually aren't up to." Avaah said regrettably. "There is nothing either pretty or flattering in Muggle fashion right now."  
  
"Oh come on! Minus Alice we're the Misery girls! We can do anything and a stupid magazine won't stop us." Max said passionately. "We're just going to have to be a little creative."

SKIPPY SKIPPY

"For once Lily, it really isn't your ass that makes your ass look big." Cleo stated.  
  
"I know!" Lily exclaimed, in poor spirits. Cleo, Lily and Avaah were making a circuit of the bridal shops and department stores. They'd given up on the magazines, but thought maybe the dresses would look better in person. Besides, Lily was one of the prettiest witches they knew. Sure, she had some ghetto booty (AN-yes I realize this phrase was not popular in 1986), but she was also rather busty, which made for a nice hour glass figure.  
  
"If these dresses can't work on you then I'm screwed for my wedding." Avaah announced. She'd been dating Jason since her fourth year at Hogwarts. They were all eagerly awaiting a ring any day now. Five years of relationship bliss constituted a wedding to them.  
  
"Shut up Avaah, you're beautiful." Lily and Cleo snapped.  
  
"Alright." Avaah said chipperly.  
  
"See, this is why weddings are bullshit. I'll never have to go through this hell." Cleo stated smugly.  
  
Lily lifted the enormous skirt of her dress and waded towards the fitting room. "You're never going to marry Cleo?"  
  
"Never. You know that." Cleo said with a scowl.  
  
"Not even if Sevvy proposes?" Avaah asked, batting her eyes at Cleo.  
  
"First of all," Cleo said scathingly. "Sev would never propose. This is because, secondly, he knows marriage is a crock of shit too."  
  
Lily and Avaah were snickering. "I noticed love wasn't a reason there. Do you lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-vah him?" Lily asked.  
  
"I do not. He doesn't love me. Love isn't real, that's why marriage is shit." Cleo snapped.  
  
Lily came out of the fitting room to try another obnoxious dress. "Still…you two are awfully cute together. Would you say yes if he did propose?"  
  
"It doesn't matter because he won't." Cleo hissed, eyes narrowed.  
  
"I think she wo-ould." Avaah declared in a sing-song voice.  
  
"That's so cute! By the time Sev proposes, Jason would too and you girls can have a double wedding!" Lily suggested loudly.  
  
Cleo's face had turned a nasty shade of red.  
  
"We need to start pressuring Sevvy. Take him ring shopping." Avaah suggested.  
  
"You will not." Cleo said, her voice now very low and threatening. Avaah and Lily decided to break it off there, because teasing Cleo was risky to begin with, let alone when she was on edge over Lily and James' wedding. She still hadn't recovered entirely from the realization that her future surrogate nephews and/or nieces would have that idiot's genes mixed in with Lily's.  
  
Lily tried on a few more dresses, to no avail. They left in poor spirits.  
  
"Lily, if you had one made for you? By a Muggle…?" Avaah suggested.  
  
"That's not a bad idea…" Lily's voice trailed off.  
  
They apparated back to the flat and Lily began flicking through the phone book.

MEANWHILE

Lolita, Max and Ami were sitting in Max's basement, the new headquarters for SPARD (students for the protection and right s of dragons). They'd started the organization back in Hogwarts when they realized Dumbledore had invented twelve different uses for dragon's blood. The thoughts of the experiments he must have performed to find twelve uses screamed of animal cruelty to the girls. Though they'd gotten little support from their peers, Hagrid had been very enthusiastic about SPARD. Just because they'd graduated, they refused to let it die, and were now trying to take it to a national level.  
  
They were up to eighteen members. When you counted the kids they'd bullied into joining while at school.  
  
They were wrapping up another meeting when the discussion turned to Lily's dress. Ami was in the dark about it, and Max and Lolita had to fill her in on the bet.  
  
"She left something as important as her dress up to a bet?" Ami said in disbelief. Lily was lax about her clothing, but she figured even Lily would care about what her dress looked like for her wedding.  
  
"That's sorta the issue. She doesn't want to give in but she doesn't want to have to wear one of these things to her wedding. We're stumped." Max explained.  
  
"Well why don't you just buy a dress and then get it altered? Or did James and Sirius say you couldn't do that?" Ami asked.  
  
Max and Lolita's eyes widened. "Ami you're a genius!" Max exclaimed, while Lolita squeed and hugged her. They immediately ran to the fireplace to tell Lily about Ami's idea.

AT THE FLAT...

"Where's the phone book?" Lily screeched, digging through the cabinet she was sure she'd stuck the phone book in.  
  
"Do you need a book to operate a phone?" Avaah asked.  
  
"Yeah…I don't think I know what that is." Cleo said, looking perplexed.  
  
"It's got numbers in it, for people in town and more importantly local shops. There should be a section with business listings for dress makers." Lily explained.  
  
"What's it look like?" Avaah asked, now searching the flat for this amazing sounding book.  
  
"It's pretty thick, cheap paper…blue and black cover with ads on it." Lily explained. Cleo's eyes went wide, then a guilty look crossed her face. Lily took notice. "Cleo…what did you do to the phone book?"  
  
"I was leaning on it when I painted my nails and I spilled polish all over it. I thought it was junk mail or something since it was delivered and I chucked it. I'm sorry honey." Cleo said with a convincing pout.  
  
Lily would have ripped into her, but Lolita's head popped into the fireplace then. Lolita quickly explained Ami's brilliant (and obvious) idea. The girls ooed impressively.

SKIPPY SKIPPY...

"That'll do." Cleo said decisively.  
  
Lily and Cleo stepped back to admire their handwork. They'd been up all night sewing and it had paid off.  
  
The dress had started out no different from the nightmare gowns they'd seen thus far. After removing sequins, yards of tuille and layers and layers of lace, it had started to look decent. There was nothing to be done for the poofy sleeves, so they just ripped them right off. It was going to be a summer wedding anyway. It was a good thing Lily had simple tastes in clothing because the girls weren't all that experienced as seamstresses. They did manage to make a pretty dress out of it though.  
  
Underneath all the shinies and the material was a very lovely white dress in a soft, satin-like material. It fitted to Lily's curves very nicely once they removed the tuille and the extra poofy skirts. They'd taken some of the extra material and sewn it to the bottom so it made a train. Then Cleo had taken a few more scraps and shredded them into long ribbons. She wrapped them around Lily's arms to give a bit more decoration. The effect had been simple but stunning.  
  
"Do you think Jeremy and Black will accept this?" Cleo asked.  
  
"Who cares. I have an amazing wedding dress." Lily said stupidly. "Cleo I'm so excited! This dress looks perfect, and I have the pretty ring-" She accentuated this by holding out her hand and gazing happily at her engagement ring. "And James is going to wear a tiki shirt! It'll be great!"  
  
"You know, most girls wouldn't want their husbands to tie the knot in a tiki shirt. They'd go for a tux or something, right?" Cleo asked.  
  
"Most likely. I'm not like most girls. My wedding's going to be unique." Lily stated.  
  
"Well I think you've already made sure of that." Cleo answered.  
  
TBC  
  
A/N I think the next chapter's going to deal with the future in-laws. Prepare to meet Anja and Nicholas Evans and Meryl and Mustachio Potter. and don't worry, James, Sirius, Remus and Sev will be coming back. This chapter was unusually girly for me, but I didn't really know how else to deal with the subject of a wedding dress. It's not really a guy thing. 


End file.
